All The Goods / Living

Celebrity. Fantasy. League.

I have hit-and-miss bouts of insomnia these days. I don’t get it. I used to sleep so soundly, so peacefully, so well. I’d fall asleep in ten minutes flat – as soon as I decided I was tired. Now, I jolt awake after five hours of sleep and eventually have to get up, write a list of the things rattling in my brain, read, and hopefully fall asleep again before the alarm goes off and it’s time to get the kids up and get ready for work and head out the door.

This morning, I was up at 3:30 am, showered by 4:00, getting work done that I didn’t get to last night before I fell asleep, and then off to the races for another day. Once I got home, I tried to rest, but my mind was on a thousand things, and I was highly caffeinated just to make it through my dang day. I couldn’t sleep. Exhausted, I wanted to eat all the things, and drink all the wine, and smoke all the e-cig cartridges I own. But really, I just want a good night’s sleep.

I mean, I drive for a living. It’s not safe to be so tired.

The government has shut down. All the Christian-y people I know want to blame Obama for reasons like: He’s a Muslim.

What the shit does that have to do with not agreeing with his plan for Obamacare? All the thinking people I know understand the shutdown is the result of political games and partisanship and people working on behalf of their egos and own agendas rather than working toward solutions. It’s like a bad argument in a bad relationship. When being right matters more than finding a solution, nobody wins, nobody hears the other side, and both people end up broken and blistered – hating each other and wondering what just happened.

Anne Lamott said this on Twitter:

We’ve all had an alcoholic uncle like House GOP. We know the drill: you don’t talk to the disease about the disease. You comfort the kids.

When we’re falling behind the rest of the world in education, and health policy, and gun policy (I realize I’m probably shooting myself in the face by actually posting these sentiments) I wonder how long we’ll want to hold onto our stupid good ol’ days/good ol’ boys/entitled to my rights ’cause this is ‘Merica ideals.

Bear in mind, many of the people who think this way are people I love dearly – family members and friends – and while I have no idea what’s happening in their brains, I do still want them in my life because, well, love isn’t summed up by the things you agree or disagree on, it’s really summed up by how many tamales you’re willing to provide me with on Christmas. Just sayin’.

One thing we can all agree on, this Fantasy Football thing has many men highly engaged. When I say, “I would never join a fantasy football league, but I would totally join a celebrity gossip league, if there were such a thing,” and my (almost) husband sends me a link proving that the idea is out there and hinting that such leagues are simmering beneath the surface, just waiting for women to join them, makes me sure of three things: 1) Joining/Starting an Us Weekly league would be disgustingly fun, 2) Everyone involved would become WORSE human beings in the most hilarious way, and 3) I’m marrying the right man.

Read the article, here. Think about it. Start one in your hometown. It would provide a helpful distraction from other, more troubling things.

Us Weekly League, What?!?



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